Bed-sharing: A New Adventure

03 Jun

Alright, so it’s obviously been a long time since posting…to say the least I haven’t done the best job of keeping up with my blogs lately! I need to work at sticking to my schedule so I can have specific days to blog. Anyway, I thought I’d stop in for a brief thought to ponder until next post.

We have officially decided that we are going to become a co-sleeping or bed-sharing family! We’re pretty excited about this! When the possibility was first brought to our attention it seemed a little weird and we had a lot of research and praying to do about it. We since have done just that and have decided that it is the right thing to do and we really want to do it! One thing that opened our eyes is a book by James McKenna called Sleeping With Your Baby. This guy has done a lot of research and really lays out the benefits of bed-sharing (sharing a bed with your child), or at least co-sleeping (sleeping in the same room as your child)! He really has evidence that it is actually safer than having them sleep off in a different room, which is just the opposite of what many people think. Many think that bed-sharing especially is very dangerous and that there is a risk of smothering their baby (but what about all the babies who have died in cribs). This may be true in some circumstances, that’s why he outlines certain situations in which it shouldn’t be done – such as if a parent is intoxicated, smokes, etc. Given the right circumstance, though, it’s actually safer and has been done for years because it’s human instinct to want to be close to your small children! They are very attached and dependant upon their parents, especially momma, for the first few years of their life, and guess what…that’s okay! That’s normal! I really encourage parents of small children or babies, or even parents-to-be to read this book! Read it with an open mind! That’s what we did. We didn’t go into it trying to convince ourselves this was the way we wanted to go – we read it to get information and to help us decide because we were on the fence at the time. Obviously this Notre Dame professor and director of the University of Notre Dame Mother-baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory did a very good job of convincing us, because we’ve decided this is the way it should be with us! My husband is even on board and I couldn’t be happier about the decision! We took the step to get a much larger bed – since our toddler or even a baby in our full size bed with us would have been extremely tight – and have let the 2-year-old sleep with us a couple of times now and my hubby is hooked! I, too, love this arrangement and feel it is best for everyone (excited about not having to get up in the middle of the night with the next baby)! Now we just have to figure out how to get him back to sleeping in again. The last couple of mornings have been trying, to say the least! For some reason he’s been waking up much earlier when he’s in our bed! I can see where this can be a beautiful arrangement, but it just needs a little tweaking. 🙂

Just goes back to the idea of looking at what God intended. Go with your parenting instinct – not what society is telling you that you should do and how you should raise your children. It is said that the only people who don’t sleep with their babies is the majority of the Western culture who has come up with this idea that babies need to become independent at such a young age. There will come a day when they will want their own bed, but until then I’m not going to rush things. It will go way too fast as it is!


Posted by on June 3, 2011 in Gentle Parenting


2 responses to “Bed-sharing: A New Adventure

  1. Jeri Lynn Blythe

    June 29, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    First time reading your blog but I LOVED this one…. completely agree! I wish I would have known it when I had my first son…. he co slept till he was 15 months old, but I so enjoyed the bed sharing with Colt, well and still do, he normally starts off in his own bed but then comes in the middle of the night to sleep with mommy and daddy!

    • Jen

      June 29, 2011 at 7:01 pm

      Yeah, he’s has gotten used to his bed now, so he’s been sleeping in it lately – but I’m not at all opposed to him climbing into bed with us whenever he wants! Can’t wait to bed share from the beginning with the next one!


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